One of my recollections from childhood in Africa was how odd it seemed that white children wore nappies and generally black children did not. This was later reconfirmed during my travels as an adult in India, the far East and China.  How wonderful I thought for little children not to be burdened with cumbersome nappies.  However in those days I did not explore it any further and was totally unaware that the mothers who carried their babies were never soiled or wet. 

Many years later this came back to me when a pregnant friend told me that she was not going to use nappies on her baby. She had read a lot about the intuition a mother has with her baby in more primitive cultures and believed that all mothers had this intuition if they were in tune with their child. In spite of my up bringing I found this incredulous and negatively thought that it would not possible to do in our society. As I was also pregnant at the time and hoped to nurture my baby in the most natural way possible, I was really interested to follow her progress and to learn from her.  We met up a few months after her baby was born and I was simply stunned to witness a three month old baby not only with no nappy all day, but apparently signalling when she needed to go, being held on a potty and, surprisingly delivering the goods! 

From then on I was determined to find out more and see whether this was a path my husband, Joseph and I wanted to take.  I read a lot on the web, joined an e-mail community of western mums who were practising EC (elimination communication) and thought back to my child hood.  When Joseph was just 4 months we decided to give it a go.  I had read enough to realise that is was perfectly natural and totally possible for all babies to communicate their elimination needs.

By nature no creature would soil their own nests. Animals have a sense of hygiene which instructs them to eliminate away from their “living space”. And yet, in our so-called highly developed society, we expect our babies to wee and poo into nappies which are pressed against their delicate skin for considerable lengths of time. The “experts” tell us that babies have no control over their elimination until around 2 years old and because it is all we see from friends, family and the media we believe it.  So how then do millions of babies in less developed countries manage without nappies?  Surely they must wee and poo all over the place? Or do they?

From birth a baby instinctively communicates to its mother when it is hungry, tired, cold and yes, when it needs to eliminate.  The difference between our society and so many others is that we have lost this vital piece of knowledge and intuition.  Life with nappies has become so the norm that generations have come to believe that we can not live without them.

A few years down the line and I have now had 3 little boys, all of whom have been very clear at signalling their elimination needs.  We started with Jo at 4 months and then with Toby and Jacob from birth. With Jo I was very strict on myself and really did not want him to wear nappies at all and would chastise myself for not getting the signals or missing his cues.  Of course we did have many of those and consequently got wet on many an occasion, however over time, we got better and better and really enjoyed the times when we were all in sync.  As the boys’ dad and grandmothers are heavily involved with their care, they too learnt to pick up on the signals and cared for the boys nappy free.

Our youngest son is now 8 months old and he has been the easiest (or are we more experienced?).  He is very clear in his signals – especially kicking his legs and now grunting and there is no doubt at all that he is totally aware of his elimination needs and can even hold onto his wees and poos for a good few minutes until we hold him in the right position. When he was about 3 months old I had a very rare opportunity to read a novel undisturbed by the 2 older boys.  I had Jacob on my knees while reading and was so engrossed in my novel that I was not paying attention to his kicking.  Suddenly he gave me a really good kick and sort of squeeled at me.  Considering he is a very quiet baby, I quickly came out of my reverie and realised that he needed to go.  Once I held him in the position over the toilet, he really let go and I realised just how much he had held on!

With all the experience we now have, I could not imagine going back to full time nappies.  Yes we do use them at times eg a long car journey, going to weddings etc but even then we will respond to their needs to go.  Most of the time I work from home running our own business and find that there is not more work involved holding the baby over the potty every 20 – 30 mins than their would be having to change the babies nappy, so in essence I actually find it easier.

So why so we do it? 

The first reason is that when I realised a baby clearly communicates their elimination needs, I felt that it was wrong to ignore that communication.  I strongly believe in attachment parenting which means responding to all your babies needs and so this was another need that I wanted to respond to.  Secondly, I would not like to sit in my own waste – so why should I expect my baby to. Thirdly, it is so lovely to hold a baby with a clean and dry bare bottom!

So what is (and is not) EC-ing?
EC is not potty training for babies.  Firstly, the method is not anything close to what the word "training" would conjure up.  There are no rewards or punishments, there is no unlearning of a previous habit, there is nothing in it that goes against the infant's nature.  EC is no more training infants to eliminate than breastfeeding is training an infant to eat.

Babies have a need to eat: they are capable of communicating this need to us, and are capable of assisting us in fulfilling this need.

Babies have a need to eliminate: they are also capable from birth of communicating this need to us, and assisting us to meet this need.

EC is not "adult training" either, at least not in the derogatory sense that some people mean when they refer to it as such.  The term "adult training" implies that the infant is not participating and communicating in the process, which is untrue.  Both the parent and child are equal partners in EC, both giving and taking cues from each other.

I suppose you could say that I am "adult trained" to give my child food when he is hungry, comfort when he is sad, warmth when he is cold, etc.  If one considers this training, then I suppose one could also say that EC is "adult training" to provide a place to eliminate when he has to "go".

Article by Maggie Howell. Working Hypnotherapist and Doula.
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